RAISING CHILD AS A SINGLE PARENT : WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

 

 

Today, single-parent families (either mother or father) have become common and noticeable. This is a result of the long-term changes that are taking place in family patterns, and gender relations, hence single parenting is a result of people’s choice, how they want to live their lives within the context of economic, cultural and social change.

Children having only one parent, either mother or father has a profound effect on the child’s overall behavior and it can more precisely impact several other areas of their life including their social behavior, academic achievement and overall development.

 Effects of single parenting on children

    Improper guidance: Households , having single parents , end up working hard , due to lack of financial support from the other end, working more in order to provide better education to the children. This, in turn, affects their studies, as they receive less time, attention and guidance from the parent in their studies and overall development.

    Emotional effects: In today’s materialistic and fast paced world, running a family with one income is not easy. It would be stressful for the parent as he /she has to put all the efforts towards maintaining  the income making it difficult to give personal attention to the child. The stress on the parent, can have emotional bearing on the children reflecting in their overall behavior.

    Violent nature: Children can acquire violent behavior like low self-esteem, increased frustration and anger when they find their parent in stress and behaving violently with them. These situations arise when children have feelings of abandonment, sadness, loneliness, etc. They have difficulty with socializing and connecting with others.

    Positive effects: The individual parenting style actually decides the effect on the child’s behavior. The children may exhibit strong responsibility skills by looking up to the parent who is handling everything single-handedly. As the children and the parent are completely dependent on each other so there is a possibility that they form closer bond with the parent.

Problems faced by a single parent

As It is, being a parent and raising children itself is a stressful job and requires both parents to deliver fully. Hence being a single parent, where both roles need to be fulfilled by a single person is even more tedious and stressful. There are numerous problems that single parents and their children have to face. Some of those problems are:

1.    Financial problems: Often families have to face a lot of financial issues as they have difficulty in making ends meet since all the expenses of running the house and raising the child is borne by the sole parent. Many times, children have to adjust accordingly.

2.    Work-family balance: Irrespective of the fact that the single parent is a mother or father they are usually working parent, so they have a hard time juggling between professional and personal life. Every single parent wants to fulfill the responsibilities of both the parents. In the run for making enough income they reduce the interaction time with children. Sometimes children may feel miserable when they find their parents reacting on petty things.

3.    Psychological problems: A lot of psychological issues are faced by children of single parents. Usually they do not socialize with other people as they may feel ashamed when they are compared to other children and hence have difficulty in adjusting to the new circumstances.

4.    Educational problems: Many studies have found that the drop out  ratio of single-parent children is quite high because these children have a high rate of absenteeism and later on that affects their studies. Some children get engaged with the wrong kind of people , or activities which affects their future and education .

5.    Feeling of loss: Whatever may be the reason for a single parent status, death, abandonment or divorce a single parent always feel that he/ she has all the responsibilities, but the fact is that children are equally burdened with the new and changed life.

Frequently asked questions by children

Children have a lot of questions in their mind regarding environment around them. If the child is of a single parent, then he/she will have more questions as they are quite curious about their status. Here is a list of questions that children may ask and possible answer that the parent can give.

Q1. Where is my Mom/Dad?

This is an obvious question that the child will ask at some point and the  parent has to be prepared to answer this question in a convincing and reassuring manner so that the doubt in the mind of the child is cleared and they learn to accept the situation . Except in rare cases, there is no reason , not to tell the child why they have a single parent.

Q2. Why other children have both parents?

This question is universal among children irrespective of their age. You can easily answer this question by telling them the truth. You can make them understand that others have two parents because they need both mother and father to raise a child ,whereas in your situation the parent doubles up for both the roles , since one parent is absent.

Q3. Does the other parent still love them?

Whenever your child asks this question your probable answer must be yes. Irrespective of the fact what happened in the past or where they are, children must know that their parents love them whether they stay with them or not.

Role of a daycare as a support system.

Daycare is a boon for a single parent, who needs to concentrate all their energies  earning  money to fulfill  the needs of their child and the family . It Provides a safe and secure environment for the child to learn , play , mix around with children of their age , develop social skills , learn to be disciplined , and have a place to be at till the parent returns back from work .  Through its holistic development environment which includes quality instruction, structure and social lessons a child of single parent benefits with those areas which they miss out at the home front. Although children are not aware of it, they are provided with whole lot of activities that include songs and storytelling. Parents are also satisfied that their child has structured times for eating, playing and napping. Research has found that children who have spent quality time on daycare have higher cognitive and academic achievement scores. Daycare provides an opportunity for the children to consider other adults as mentors who can give them positive guidance.

Conclusion

If you are a single parent and want to provide your child, the right atmosphere to make them successful then it’s your time to learn, not teach. You need to learn about life so that you can nurture positive attitude in your child. You must create an atmosphere, where the child is encouraged to grow their intelligence and that is possible only when you provide a supportive and loving atmosphere. If needed, the help of daycare center could be taken. If you live in fear and anxiety, how can you expect your child to be happy , hence  you must make sure you are happy so that your child learns the same thing and lead a happy and successful life .

Some Good Daycare Centers .

                www.info4kids.com       

                     www.kidzworld.com  

             ww.kiderbrookpreschool.com  

           www.learningcurveindia.co.in  

           www.pumkinpatchpune.com   

               www.aajol.com     

           www.kanvaskidz.com     

           www.ykrok.in  

              www.littlebigworld.in  

w       www.littlemillenium.com 

     www.kidzee.com  

     www.smallvillepreschool.com      

     www.bloomingbudspune.com

 

Conclusion

If you are a single parent and want to provide your child, the right atmosphere to make them successful then it’s your time to learn, not teach. You need to learn about life so that you can nurture positive attitude in your child. You must create an atmosphere, where the child is encouraged to grow their intelligence and that is possible only when you provide a supportive and loving atmosphere. If needed, the help of daycare center could be taken. If you live in fear and anxiety, how can you expect your child to be happy , hence  you must make sure you are happy so that your child learns the same thing and lead a happy and successful life .

FOOTER :

About the Author : Thomas is the Founder of www. Info4Kids.com and www.Competition4Kids two websites dealing with offering updates on various activities, products and services for school going kids and is passionate about introducing various kids related offerings to parents and educational institutions to bring about holistic development for kids .

 

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